30th of September 2000

     Tomorrow is Grey Day 2000. Please take a moment out of your day to support the Digital Divas in this notable cause for the rights of creatives.

29th of September 2000

     This is an absolutely unbelievable photograph. It was taken with a digital camera in the Montana Bitteroot National Forest on August 6, 2000 by John McColgan, a fire behavior analyst from Fairbanks, Alaska. Because he was working at the time he took the picture he cannot profit from it; however, I feel it is a once-in-a-lifetime shot and should be shared.

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     I'm one of those morons who will sneer and tell you, "Oh, they'll go off." Many late model cars, especially General Motors, are designed for the headlights to always be on. That's why you will see folks driving with their lights shining in broad daylight. In Canada, it is federal law that headlights are on at all times. So cars manufactured at Canadian plants, some Buicks for example, are like that even if owned in America. There is no way I can turn the headlights off my Buick, and yes, they will go off by themselves about 30 seconds after shutting the engine. Just thought you might want to know.

28th of September 2000

Zeldman to Blow-Off Orange

     News out of Denver indicates world renowned web designer Jeffrey Zeldman will be retiring his identifying orange backgrounds upon his return to New York from Thunder Lizard's Web Design 2000 later this week. Citing the desire to prepare a 21st century transom to the Web, Mr. Zeldman has expressed an interest in the bisque spectrum. Caught smoking behind the convention center, Zeldman said, "Nothing rhymes with orange. I know I'm taking a risk with bisque, but isn't that what the Internet is all about?"

27th of September 2000

     A few years ago Albert Brooks wrote a movie titled Defending Your Life. The premise was you attained various planes of life or after-life based upon the behaviors of your past. I've felt trapped in defending my career for the last five years. The latest chapter occurred yesterday when I interviewed with the new parent company for the privilege of maintaining my job. That makes three times since 1995. I used the entire 20 minute allotment to highlight accomplishments and express future goals. That's it; 20 minutes to defend 27 years. So be it.

25th of September 2000

     Wonderful American surprise! The gold medal in Olympic platform diving for Laura Wilkinson rates as one of the Games biggest upsets and reminded me of another of my more dubious athletic exploits. When I was a teen, I wasn't a half bad diver, although not half good either.

     While on family vacation one summer I was fooling around on the three meter springboard, practicing flips and twists. I got a little carried away on one dive though, trying two and a half somersaults in the tuck position. When the back of my head contacted the water first, I was still fully in that tuck, slamming my face directly into both knees. Carried around two black eyes for a couple weeks after that. Ouch!

24th of September 2000

     Watching the Olympic women's marathon reminded me of my lone experience with long distance running. I was a junior in high school, training with the track team ostensibly for the two mile race, but really more to make my wrestling coach happy. The assignment for the day was to run to a destination seven miles from the school, then return. This was, by far, more than I had ever run in my life.

     To my credit, I made it there, but was so exhausted I couldn't run another step. Here I was seven miles away from school with no will or ability to return. Realizing my home was about half way back, I walked, more like crawled, there instead. One of the most humbling and deflating moments of my high school experience was telling the track coach the next day how I wasn't cut out for long distance running and wouldn't be back. He just shrugged; didn't even know who I was. Pffftt.

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A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.

The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"

The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?"