My step-daughter gets married in Las Vegas tonight. For anyone who might be curious, you can actually watch it on streaming video from The Little Chapel at 8:00PM PST. Unlike her brother, who just got married four months ago, Anna seems quite nervous about this whole thing. I'm not sure why, she's lived with the groom for nearly nine years. We're having a reception for them back here on May 27th. Anyway, Anna I hope the caterpillars in your stomach turn to butterflies in your heart. All my love.

5th of May 2000

     God, so far today I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, selfish, or over-indulged. I'm grateful for that. But in a minute I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm going to need a lot of help. — Anonymous

4th of May 2000

     The redwing blackbird is a beautiful bird, and apparently somewhat eccentric. The past two days I've watched one with a fascination for mirrors. He lands on the side-view mirror of my car, then jumps to the window edge to check himself out. Peck, peck, peck. Then back up on top the mirror case. Bend over, look at yourself upside down, now hop back down to the window ledge. Peck a little more. On and on and on. Apparently this guy is a new birth this spring, one who hasn't discovered the ladies yet.

3rd of May 2000

     I am a smoker. Whether that's good or bad is irrelevant. When I go out, I choose places that accomodate smokers. Restaurants, meeting halls and other gathering places — there aren't many left. That's fine. I abide the wishes of the establishment owners. Should I be somewhere that doesn't allow smoking, I recognize that, and don't smoke. However, I purposely seek places that do tolerate my chosen lifestyle.

     People who don't smoke can also choose where they hang out. If it is the owner's choice to allow smoking, the non-smoker has every right to avoid that establishment. There are many more places that have abolished smoking than still allow it — plenty of places for non-smokers to frequent. Yet, civility seems to take a back seat with some. If anti-smoking is a large issue with you, work to have the product banned, that's how the democratic political process operates. Until then, please leave me alone.

2nd of May 2000

     Last week the oak tree, this week the maple. Y'know those little helicopter seed thingies that trees make in the spring? They look pretty cool flying through the air, twisting and turning, floating in the wind. But eventually they hit the ground, and I'm talking thousands of them. Every time I let the dogs out for a stroll they come back with a dozen matted in their fur. I completely filled a trash bag last week raking oak helicopteros. Now it's the maple's turn. I can almost hear it laughing at me.

Diva and Goliath.

1st of May 2000

     "Who gave me the assignment anyway?" A simple enough question. Monday is trash day around here so every Sunday night I go through the same ritual with the wife. "Why do I always have to tell you to gather up the trash? It's your job!" Well, I don't know who gave me the job. I sure didn't ask for it. I can't recall a meeting where we divied up chores.

     Is it one of those man/woman traditional role things? I've never asked, "Honey it's Wednesday night, are my shirts ironed?" Probably get popped if I did. Why is it okay for women to nag about man's procrastination, but turn the tables and the Oprah producers are calling?

     Can't complain though. I have a wife who actually enjoys cutting grass. So every Sunday night I wander from room to room carrying a trash bag muttering to myself, "Who gave me the assignment anyway?"

30th of April 2000

     The yin-yang symbol says it all. Today I am more lucid and less confused. We'll see how long that lasts, hah! Casting away old anchors and replacing them with new hyperlinks. They aren't as heavy.

     Oddly enough, the net doctor was a jerk, but his medicine is appreciated. Free from the bondage of improbable aspirations — the air cleared around here. Could you feel the webstream when this webthing wafted through?

     A student who perhaps didn't know apes from Darwin once said, "The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think." Isn't that basically what web life is all about? Just thinking; creatively. The endless scrambling for the next affiliate check, the ruin of aesthestic design with incessant exchange buttons and banners. Anathema to creative purpose, but hubris for the overdrawn checkbook.

     If I work long enough and hard enough at this, I may eventually fulfill a new vision. What I have already is a new purpose — one that is more lucid and less confused.

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Over 30

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. It's silent and never smells. As a matter of fact I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because it's silent and doesn't smell."

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week".

The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts smell terrible, although they're still silent".

"Good," the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

Having a wonderful time; wish I was here. Life is like a moving vehicle with no brakes. If you spend too much time looking in the rearview mirror, you will hit a tree out the front window.