Diary of a Real-Life Bridget Jonesby Sally McLeanJust finished watching the DVD of Bridget Jones' Diary. Have decided that taking control of my own life is long overdue. Must begin doing the following immediately: 1) Get no-good, although undeniably sexy (in a starving-artisan kind of
way), commitment-phobia male out of my life once and for all (which shouldn't
be too hard, since I haven't heard from him for nearly six months now). 2) Stop forming unrequited attachments to confused comedians, actors and other unstable types in order to get over no-good sexy artisan. 3) Begin lying about my age, in order to avoid comments from smug married-type people about clocks ticking and "you career girls." (Dinner party scene in film hit home far too hard.) 4) Will begin to actually use year-old gym membership and hire personal trainer on a more regular basis than once every blue moon. 5) Will actually enjoy next six weeks of taking care of my 14 month old niece, despite her breaking my favourite coffee cup, throwing up on the couch, waking up at 3am and not giving her aunt time to finish her latest script draft, by remembering that if she wasn't here I'd probably have done all of the above without her help anyway. 6) Will get a haircut. 7) Will not allow infuriating male friend to wind me up about boyfriends and how I "need a man" by remembering that he probably just fancies me, but won't do anything about it because I terrify him. 8) Will also get a manicure and massage. 9) Will be grateful that I can get out of bed when I like, wear my pajamas all day and eat ice-cream out of the tub if I feel like it. 10) Will attempt to eat more salads. 11) Will not be jealous of girlfriends who have nice stable live-in lovers who do the dishes and cook them meals by remembering that stability doesn't always equal satisfaction or happiness (well, not all the time anyway). 12) Will focus more on my acting work by sending my stuff out to casting agents to remind them that I haven't completely gone off the radar. 13) Will stop sounding like a pathetic late-twenty something spinster actress/filmmaker who is obsessed with her career and finding the right man. 14) Will find the right man. Just got email from no-good sexy artisan saying that he hasn't forgotten about the twenty quid and maybe we should discuss giving it another go ... Damn. 15) Will look into Colin Firth's availability and location — and move there.
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